1. That Snarles Barkley's cat hair tumbleweeds will meld into a clone of said mini-panda and continue to reproduce more cat hair.
2. That someday, while blow drying my hair and doing the upside down volume adding hair flip, I will smash my head on the sink in our
3. That the Yeti has a perfect storm of genetics - genius brains, good looks, and an insatiable craving for trouble. Look out world, it's a category 5 brewing. We don't have a college fund started, we have a bail fund.
4. That my mother will visit unexpectedly before I have a chance to clean (see item #1).
5. That one of these days I will open my cupboard and the
6. That my mother is right, that public toilet seats really do transmit a variety of incurable, terminal diseases that will be contracted through nine layers of TP while hovering precariously.
7. That I will trust a fart too much.
8. That someday the Flying Monkey scene from The Wizard of Oz will be on every channel, the batteries in the remote will die right after the Yeti falls asleep in my arms, and I will know that getting up to shut off the TV will only wake him up. I watched that movie ONCE when I was 6 and they still scare the ever living flying monkey poop out of me.
9. That Snarles Barkely will puke in the exact spot that Red puts his feet when he gets out of bed in the morning and I will have to clean human and cat messes up at approximately 4:30 am.
10. That I will step in the jet fuel from an AIDs infested pedestrian's snot rocket in sandals.